The boyfriend *might* not be able to get off of work on prom night... after he's already bought tickets AND I've already bought a dress. :[ Not to mention the fact that I really want to go... bleh.

To make matters worse, I think I'm going into some weird state of depression again. I just can't be happy and stay that way for very long. Not that much is happening. Maybe I'm just literally bored to tears. I don't even know.

I've got my first sunburn of the year. Woot. Walked around DT Wheaties (I don't expect you to know what that means unless you are one of my local friends) yesterday and then today I did some yardwork and I wore a tube top so as to not get weird tan lines for ... well. there it is again, prom. I can't escape.

I feel like complete and total crap. I don't even know what's wrong. I got pissed off at my mom today because she was laughing at the fact that I'm not very good at 3-point turns. I mean, she's my MOTHER. She's not supposed to laugh at me and make fun of me. It's not right. Instead of going to another neighborhood to work more on them (instead of just mine and the neighbor's driveways), I just went inside the house, into my room, watched "She's All That" and then took a nap. My mom woke me up from my nap about an hour ago asking if I was okay or if I was just taking a nap. I think she thought I was like sick or something. Maybe she was thinking that I was upset and that she should try to fix it. Yeah, right. Well, either way, she didn't do anything once I told her I'd just been taking a nap.

No more than 2 seconds after that, the boyfriend called because we'd been texting and he knew I was having a bad day. He thinks I think I can't come to him with problems. The truth is that I only come to him with problems when I know he's not busy. By busy, I mean at his dad's house (parents are divorced), at school, at a friend's house, about to hang out with his mom, and so on. He thinks I should just call him so that at least we can talk. What he fails to realize is that most of the time, all I need is a hug. And when he's out and about, he can't give me that. So instead of making him sad thinking about me being sad, I just don't tell him. I guess I've been kind of "standoffish" because of it lately. I can't help it that he's been incredibly busy. The last two times I've tried to hang out with him b/c I was in a bad mood (those being today and... 2 weekends ago?), he's been doing something with other people. He doesn't just drop plans for me, and that's fine, but he can't claim that he's always there for me when he's not. It's not realistic. I just wish people could be a little more realistic sometimes.

Ugh, this post is too long. I'm gonna play Sims.

*yawn*

Summer cannot come soon enough.

Yeah

Ummm... yeah, this is my prom/banquet
dress. It looks better when I'm wearing it, but I don't have a picture of that at the moment so you'll just have to DEAL. :)

Battle of the Bands was good except for the fact that one guy ruined a perfectly good Danger Radio song and another guy ruined a song by NeverShoutNever. :[ I like them (sometimes). But it was still good, and lots of fun. The boyfriend's friends' band won for most people there to see them (there was a running tally for who was there to see which band) and then they ALSO won overall when the judges voted. So that was sweet. They deserve it, considering the fact that they are awesome and all.

Hum. I think I should do my biology homework. Night, kids.

♥

Bah.

Basically my entire weekend has gone from one plan to another plan to an entirely different plan.

Originally, I was gonna go to the lock-in at my school on Friday night (9pm to 6am). Then, I would be sleeping for most of Saturday and homework/etc. on Sunday.

Yesterday, when the whole prom confusion happened, I decided not to go to the lock-in so that I wouldn't be exhausted at prom from staying up literally all night just before it. I was just going to go sleep over and watch movies at my friend Maggie's house.

I just got a call from my boyfriend telling me that the prom isn't until May 1. WTF? Evidently, his school does not know how to update their website. So now I could go to the lock-in, but it's an extra $5 to get a ticket tomorrow on top of the extra $5 from paying after Tuesday which was originally $15 (what I'm trying to say is that it would cost me $25...). I'm not willing to pay that much for a lock-in, so I guess I'm not going to that. =/

Sometimes, I just wish boys understood that they need to ask people straight-forward about what they think about something (in my case, going to prom... evidently the boyfriend thought I "didn't want to go") and then PLAN AHEAD. I don't like having my schedule rearranged like this, especially since all the stuff is time-sensitive.

Anyway, I should stop complaining. I'm still going to prom. I still have an absolutely AWESOME dress.

[just imagine there's a picture here of a pretty dress... this site is being stupid and not letting me upload one right now... I'll try to get one up later.]

Battle of the Bands for the boyfriend's school is tonight, so I must be off.

Bye

<3

Hmm

Evidently, ticket sales are going on all this week.

I just got my dress.

:)

Damn damn damn damn damn.

So I just realized that there's NO chance of me going to prom. Ticket sales ended on April 3rd. Prom is on SATURDAY. :[

Oh well, I guess I shouldn't complain... hopefully something else fun will happen.






Screw it, I'm upset and I don't even care.

I seriously feel like there are two giant hands on my head, just squeezing it. It doesn't hurt, but everything feels very compressed. Allergies? :[

I felt like a 90s mom today at school (I wore this shirt/dress thing and... well that's the best way I can describe it - 90s mom).

In alphabetical order, I have these people following me!:

Allan (edited:oops... I fail at spelling sometimes)
Alphie
Jesse
Rachel
Lee

So props to them for not getting bored/annoyed (at least, not to the extent of blocking/deleting) reading my posts. :)

I wish I had a dopple-ganger that I knew in person. I've only seen one (two?) but never met.

More later. ♥

"Scheduled outage at 2:00AM PDT on Thursday (4/16)"

I definitely thought that it said "outrage" there and not "outage." I was all, "wha? blogspot is mad at me?" (oops, it's blogger now, not blogspot... maybe it's mad because I call it by the wrong name.)

On another note, I just got home from the boyfriend's house. We had fun. I got to eat some pizza puffs. I LOVE pizza puffs (aka pizza rolls or whatever else you want to call them). He starts his new job (yay, Oberweis!) a week from today. I tease him that now he can buy me presents. What I really mean when I tease him is this : I really want to go to prom, and now that you have some form of income, I'm hoping you'll buy us some tickets.

Is that really selfish of me? I feel like it is but... I dunno. It's not fair, I don't HAVE prom at my school (dancing = sin in the eyes of some of the board members of my school... one of the downsides to going to a Christian school). We've got a banquet for juniors and seniors only, but no prom. I love dancing (even though I'm terrible at it), so it makes me sad to think that my boyfriend, who goes to a school that likely has a relatively cheap prom to get tickets for (ghetto district, ghetto town, ghetto school... could I say ghetto one more time?), isn't willing to take me to prom because he just doesn't want to go. Now, the not having money to pay for it thing was legitimate... BEFORE he got a job, but now he's got plenty of time to save up like $100-$200, I'm sure. He's got until the end of MAY, which I would think would be fine.

Meh, I'm just spoiled and selfish.

I've been wanting to go to a prom for as long as I can remember. Up until I met my boyfriend, I never thought I'd have a chance in hell, considering how my school doesn't have it.

*sigh* Hopefully our mutual friend will hint around to him about how much I really want to go.

Sorry if I sound like a total brat in this post. I'm not trying to be that way. Seriously, though, I almost never ask anything of him, so now I'm kind of upset that the one thing I really want is something I can't have (at least, not at this point). He would get so much deposited into his account at the hug bank if he just took me to this one stupid dance. =/

BAH, I'll shut up now.

PostSecret

I think this sums up everything I'm feeling right now pretty well.

Thank you, facebook.

"and to be honest by the look of things your already insane anyways. "

p.s. new post in the artsy fartsy blog. I think I'll just do a little update on here every time I post something there.

I eat in the stairwell at my school. It's fun. I like it. My friends and I moved there from a teacher's classroom, where we had originally moved to from the cafeteria because it was too crowded. We are sort of nomads like that.

We have a pass to eat there, meaning no one else is allowed to. We got a pass b/c we got in trouble for eating there once. We make sure to clean up after ourselves, even the little crumbs. So far, it's been nice.

Sometimes, though, someone will bring a friend or a couple of friends who are not on the pass. These are people who (hate to say it) we do not like. (By "we," I mean the original 6 girls in our group. A couple of guys have joined us, and they are the ones who bring their friends.) When this happens, the stairwell gets too crowded and the conversation splits from one into two or three. Not fun. Usually, when the place gets too crowded, we'll leave. It's sad that we can't even been in our own spot.

Anyway, today was one of those days. Someone brought along, not only extra people, but one who used to go to our school but transferred out and her friend who had never gone to our school. The gals and I decided to leave (after waving the pass in their faces and telling them to leave, nicely, and them not listening). We walked around the school, and when we started heading back, someone told us that the people who were not supposed to be in the stairwell had gone in after we'd left and started lighting sparklers. Not only is it stupid, it's against the rules. The smoke alone could set off the fire alarms or the sprinklers (which flood the whole school). I know for a fact that the alarm was once set off by something on a bunsen burner in the chem lab, no more smoke than burned popcorn. Then there are those rules like "no fireworks etc. in the school" and "no lighters in the school" and whatnot. On top of it all, one of the guys who actually is allowed to be in the stairwell with us managed to be an idiot and burn his hand on one.

Needless to say, I'm pissed. My one sanctuary in the whole school has been compromised. This is the one place I have to be with my friends, the small group of people in the school that I actually give a rat's rear about, and another select few is ruining it, day by day. I hate to be so exclusive, but I really really really enjoy having time to talk to my friends and be with them without a hundred other people crowding around us, being annoying.

I set my facebook status to say something about how stupid it is to light sparklers inside a school, or any building. Next thing I knew, this girl was leaving me a message about how it was "no big deal" and how they didn't get caught so it "didn't matter." We went back and forth about it, I pointed out all the things that WERE actually a big deal about it, none of which seemed to matter to her. It seems to have halted to my response to her calling me "immature." Yes, I'm immature because I respect the rules and because I like to spend 25 minutes a day with my good friends. I must be regressing back to age 5 as I right this, eh?

Hum. To make a long story short: People should really think about what they do and how it might affect other people, especially in a public environment like a school.

LOL

This was my most recent word verification test:

hentied

Happy Easter! :)

I went to church this morning with my mom, grandpa, and aunt (it was at her church). It was a good service... kinda weird since I haven't actually been to church in a while. It's really hard for me to go to church and not hate it 90% of the time. I'm very picky. I don't like them too big or small, I hate it when they have everyone read something out loud at the same time, I hate the sound of organs (for the most part)... I just hate a lot of things about a lot of churches. And then there are church people... they tend to drive me nuts. It's really weird, because I'm a Christian and everything, but church... buh. I have chapels at school 2 days a week (sometimes 3), so I guess that's still good. Those I don't hate in the least (usually).

ANYWAY, after church we went to my aunt's for lunchie and it was yummy. We had lamb, and a lamb-shaped cake (which I frosted!) and some other tasty stuff. I then proceeded to take a nap, and then when I woke up, I had my 4th cup of coffee for the day (mmm) and then we drove home. It was kind of strange.

Now I'm at home, and I have to do some homework but I'm thinking it can wait for a little while, since all it is is reading for history. Shouldn't take too long. I think I also have to write a poem for English, but I believe that it is not due until Tuesday, so I'll be putting it off until tomorrow night. Yipee!

Strangely enough, I'm fairly sleepy right now. I need MORE COFFEE. Only not really. (Kidding about the coffee, not the sleepy part.)

Have a nice rest of your Easter (etc.)!

-me

Also I've updated my art blog a bit if you are interested in that sort of thing.

Well, actually...

I texted my sister to ask her if everything was ok with her. I told her that I didn't care if she didn't want to tell me what was going on, as long as I knew she was okay. It ended up being fine, well... she's okay, anyway. I won't go into detail 'cause she didn't want me to say anything to anyone and even though this is anonymous, I still would feel shitty for saying anything.

Weirdly enough, I just figured out that my boyfriend is the only person in the world that can make me feel stupid and inferior, and he doesn't even try to. I just don't feel good enough anymore, and I hate that about myself, because I never thought a guy would make me feel this way. It's not fair, he doesn't even try. He's just... smart. It's horrible, but sometimes I wish he was dumber... nah, not really, 'cause I'd hate him. But still...

Anyway, I'm in a better mood now. Just got home from watching the boyfriend and some of his friends play Axis&Allies (WWII game...) and... well that was interesting. I didn't even take out my book at all! Managing not to get bored was an impressive feat, if I do say so myself.

Hum. Goodnight.

Ok ok so I watched Monsters Inc. the other day and I noticed this: Sulley's apartment, when you look at the windowed side of that front room or whatever it is, looks a lot like Linguini's apartment (from the same view) in Ratatouille. I wonder if Pixar used the same set? Or parts of it, anyway. Maybe I'm just crazy. It's just a bunch of windows, afterall, right?

Happy Good Friday, folks.

Starting Monday, we're not allowed to have peanuts or tree-nuts at my school. We can only eat them in the front office, which is tiny. Therefore, my friends and I are going to gather a large group of people to eat in the office and make it annoyingly crowded on Monday. My mom says we should do it every Monday because doing it just once wouldn't work, but doing it over and over again would. It's because people have allergies. Specifically, it's because of ONE kid who's going to be a freshman next year who is apparently deathly allergic to peanuts and tree-nuts. His current school (a k-12 school where I went from grades 1-6) is already nut-free. Now, I understand doing that in an elementary school, where most of the kids don't know better than to avoid their allergies and be careful about what they share, but a high school? This is a place that's supposed to be preparing kids for the real world, right? No one's going to baby these kids in college or in their jobs, making their environments nut-free? Meh, I'm ranting and I've been doing it all week, so I'll maybe post more about it at a later date but for now, I am done.

My mom just got off the phone with one of my family members. She sounded distressed. I heard her say something about "not saying anything" so I guess I don't get to know what's wrong. I know it's got to either be my sister, my aunt, or my grandpa, none of whom I would want having any sort of issue. I'm upset that I don't get to know, though. What would they keep from me? It must not be my sister, 'cause she'd tell me... right? :/ God, please don't let it be something really serious.

Ugh, now I'm upset.

I'll let these speak for themselves.

!!!

I scored 8th place in the National French Contest for year 2! (Everyone who took it and got 61 out of 70 correct scored 8th place). I am seriously flipping out. Last year I think I placed in the chapter, but this year I placed nationally! :D

I don't mean to brag... I'm just really excited. (This is going to look nice on college applications. Haha.) Mostly I just want another pin to attach to my purse next to the one from last year. I like pins. lol.

Also I got a giant photo of myself today. It was from the teacher that was taking pictures of my eye color. He had prints of a few other students. He's continuing the project by shooting MY BIOLOGY TEACHER! (Tomorrow, I think.) My bio teacher recently shaved his head bald for a school fund-raising thing, so I think that made his eyes stand out more (they're blue, like mine) so I think that's why my photo teacher is shooting him.

Semi-related: My bio teacher is the same age as my father. He's been teaching at my school for 28 years. My dad's been working at the place he works for like 29 or 30 years. Randommmm.

Okay I am done blogging for today. My best friend and I are hanging out tonight so yeah. Peace out, kiddos.

<3 me

by the way, what the hell do you DO with a giant picture of yourself?

Good morning!

I'm off to school.

Hope you all have lovely days!

(How's that for a short post?)