Oct 25, 2009

The Boy and I are officially The Ex and I.

edit: I can honestly say I'm heartbroken. I pretty much want to die right now. But more than that, I just want to go run into his arms and be his again... even though I know that's not what either of us needs. It's just... why does it have to be like this? Why is it that two people who care about each other SO much can't be together anymore? I don't know. I just don't want to be broken up. Great, now I'm crying again, just what I need at 2:30am.

It was so horrible. I was sobbing, he was sobbing... we were just holding each other, almost as though we were trying to hold the pieces in place. Neither of us wanted to end things... and yet we did. We did because he wanted something so much that it changed the way he acted toward me, which in turn changed the way I acted toward him. And now it's too late for me to turn around and say "hey, nevermind, I'll try harder." But I want to so badly. I don't want anyone but him right now... I really want to go numb until I'm capable of not being sad. Ugh, I have school tomorrow.

I guess my amazing week has officially ended, eh?

I have officially applied to Southern Illinois (Carbondale) and University of Illinois (Urbana/Champaign)! WOO!!!! I feel so accomplished. Only need a few more... haha.

In other news, it looks like I might have another date. My friend and I have been flirting like crazy as of late. He was actually the person I hung out with right before The Boy and I decided to take a break. The day of, in fact. Since the break started, this friend and I have been talking a lot, flirting and such, and just overall having good conversations. Last night, he basically offered himself up to be one of my dates... It was quite confusing and such but we continued the flirting and such last night and today, so I guess that's a good sign? I don't know. Haha. Oh well, not that big of a deal.

Bleh, I don't feel like typing any more.