Oct 6, 2009

It is so windy, I think my house might get blown over... or maybe just blown into Oz...

Today and yesterday were rough. The Boyfriend and I almost broke up... again... but again we stayed together. We are working on fixing our problems (such as I will try to stop being mean so much and he will start listening to me better). There is one issue which cannot be solved at present. Ask if you want to know that one, it's a little too personal to post up here. Right now, we are just trying to get past it, but we'll see how it goes. Another strange thing is that now The Boyfriend is trying to "figure out what he wants" but he doesn't know how to go about doing so. He refuses to actually break up with me straight up, so I guess the option of trying to figure out what he wants through seeing other people is out. Works for me, I guess? I don't know.

I mean...Hmm...

I love him. I love him so much it's crazy. I put up with a lot of crap for him and from him. But sometimes I just take him for granted and treat him not so well... And what's worse is that I realize it EVERY SINGLE TIME and yet it's like word vomit... I just can't stop myself in time. So I'm working on it. I tend to forget that The Boyfriend is somewhat moody/sensitive, so I can't really say certain things to him that I could (jokingly, of course) say to other people. However he has no qualms with teasing me. >_< No fair! But I told him that I hate being teased, especially since, as the youngest sibling, I've had to deal with it for many many years. Hopefully he and I will both get better about that.

I hope that my being really open and vulnerable here is not too weird. I'm just trying to be honest and say what I want. I mean, that's why my facebook doesn't link to my blog. That's what I don't really tell people I know in-person about it (Maggie/Kailyn, you are special exceptions!). I like the fact that I can say nearly anything I want to (and even hold back the things I don't want to say without caring whether or not it annoys people). This blog is a very nice place for me to situate my brain every once in a while.

So hum... What else what else... I don't know. Leave me a comment and maybe I will make up a post about it for next time.