Ok, so Halloween was amazingly fun, but I don't feel like writing about it. Haha.
This is how YESTERDAY went down:
I went to the mall with my friend Kyle. Kyle and I randomly ran into The Boy. Kyle, The Boy, and I decided to wander the mall, but then Kyle had to leave, so The Boy and I sat on a couch in the mall (yes, we have those, it is weird) and talked... for two hours (aka until closing). We then walked to my car because I said I'd drive him to his car (he parked on the opposite side of the mall as me and we were closer to my car while on the couch). After I drove him to his car, we hugged goodbye, but then I was sad. We went in for another hug and I was still sad. So we talked.
It was FREEZING cold and windy, and I was sad, but we stayed outside and talked anyway. At one point, he sat me on top of my car because I wouldn't tell him something (which I've now forgotten). He finally let me down, we walked to the side of my car, and as I opened the door, I decided I wanted another hug. He picked me up and swung me around and it was just... fun. I had a really good laugh and smile. And then we talked some more... and after a while, it got windier, so he held me and shielded me from the wind (with aid from my, now open, car door). The conversation went something like this:
Me: I should let you get home...
The Boy: No, I don't have to be home yet, we can stay as long as you want.
Me: Oh yeah, 'cause you're 18, no curfew.
The Boy: ... yeah, I'm 18... *sigh*
The Boy: I've just been doing a lot of thinking lately... when you're my age, things just change...
Me: Oh no, you did not pull that on me. You're not that much older...
The Boy: Yeah but I've had more time to really think about stuff.
Me: Whatever. (then I tried to leave and he pulled me back)
The Boy: No, that's not what I meant... I mean like, I've been thinking about what I feel and what I want. What's important...
The Boy: And like... (he said some stuff but it would take to long to type so I'm shortening it) What's more important to you? What you feel or what you want?
Me: Well...What I feel IS what I want.
And then, he just put his hands behind my neck, pulled me in, and kissed me... It was seriously like a movie. The wind was blowing and I was freezing but I could feel my insides getting warmer. I leaned back and looked at him, and... weirdest feeling in the world... some kind of mix of terror and confusion and excitement...
The Boy: I've been thinking about what I want, and how I feel, and all I really know is that I love you and no matter what, I want to experience things with you. Sure, some things may feel good, but they don't make me happy, and I don't want them the same way. You make me happy.
Me: ... I... love yo-(he then cut me off by kissing me again) -too...
And then we said some really mushy-gushy stuff and we got into my car to talk things over some more because it just got TOO COLD... He told me about how the break was for him, and I told him about how it was for me, and pretty much we decided that even though this might mess things up later (or it might not), why not just be happy with each other now? If we have that chance, we might as well take it.
Oh and then there was this:
The Boy: I know you always talk about how you were an accident and how you made your parents' lives miserable and stuff... but I don't think you're an accident simply because of how happy you've made me... like I must have done something to deserve how happy you've made me.
Me:... (after cooing over how adorable it was) Maybe so...
So anyways, I've resolved to be a little more relaxed and I'm really going to try to be more understanding... I know it's tough to be a teenage guy... And he has resolved to being more understanding of me and such, too... I think we both understand each other a little more since we've been separated, 'cause we both went through these weird sorts of withdrawal (which I don't need to get into here, haha). Not sure how to explain it, but I think things are going to be a little different from now on... not too different, but... different enough.
Sorry that this post was so long, I'd just hate to cut out any of it. A lot of it is just so that I'll remember it, but hopefully you have been okay with reading it, too. :)
Possibly a post about Halloween tomorrow!