My Bubbles of Nothing

MAGGIE, IF YOU READ THIS, YOU NEED TO UPDATE YOUR BLOG! It occurs to me that it has been too long since you've done so.

So... I don't really know how to explain this, but I'll give it a shot. I've had a weird couple of weeks. I've been... kind of freaking out. It hit me that this is my last summer as a high-schooler... And even though it's been an amazing one, it hasn't really taken my mind off the fact that after this year, I'll know where I'll be going... and it won't be anywhere near where I am now. I'm really excited to go to college, but I'm also really scared. I'm scared that I won't succeed, that I won't find friends, whatever. More than that, I'm scared of losing my friends (or just being away from them for too long), and I'm scared of losing The Boyfriend. I know, it seems stupid to be freaking out about him, being so young and all that, but he's been a stable fixture in my life for over a year now, and by the time I graduate, it'll be over 2 years (assuming we don't break up before then). Last night, I was over at his house and he was talking about going to his friend's house, and I just freaked. I was like "oh but we were supposed to have another hour together" (yes, in retrospect, I sounded like a moron). And then I started thinking about college and moving out and ended up crying on his shoulder for 10 minutes, not letting him look at me. The problem was that this was in combination with the night before, when I had a major self-esteem meltdown. I don't worry about my looks ever. In fact, I'm a rarity apparently, in that I think I'm beautiful. What I was freaking out about was that I'm not smart enough, I don't know enough about music, or pop culture, and so on. Dumb, but whatever. So yesterday was just a weird combination of freakouts. I feel a lot better this morning, but still... I can't shake this feeling of fear.

Buh, sorry about that. I tend to ramble.

I've been playing Sims 3 a lot this week. I've made 3 new families... yikes. I need to chill out on that, I think.

HERE IS A JOKE! How do you make a tissue dance? (Answer in the comments, I'll post the actual answer later.)

That's all, I guess? OH HAY YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO BLUE OCTOBER, I AM RECENTLY IN LOVE WITH THEM AGAIN. :)

♥