My Bubbles of Nothing

Dear Creative Writing teacher,

You teach at a private school. Thus, you should probably stop posting things on your Twitter and Facebook like links to your stand-up comedy routine in which you swear, or jokes about wet T-Shirt contests, or anything involving the word "dick" unless it's in reference to someone named Richard.

I really don't want you to get in trouble or fired, because, quite frankly, you are probably the coolest teacher I have this year.

Sincerely,
Your student.